Octopus's Garden

I traveled beneath the waves over the weekend, and enjoyed the trip immensely.

Although I'm still smitten by the National Aquarium in Baltimore, the New Jersey State Aquarium in Camden had some very nice exhibits too.

We started by checking out the hippos. While it was pretty amazing to see them in an aquarium, what was more amazing was how photogenic they were. Not that I would know because I made a classic bonehead move and forgot my camera. There was the usual underwater viewing area where you could see the hippos swimming along. In the midst of an aquarium employee droning on all the little factoids about hippos, one of the hippos cruised along the bottom of the tank, and then decided to kick off and launch straight up in front of the glass until half of it's body was extended into the air! White men may not be able to jump, but hippos sure can. Seeing something like that made it a little easier to see how dangerous they can be in the wild.

From there, we went directly into a display of jellyfish. They were magical and glowing in the blueish light in a huge cylindrical tank. I could have stayed for hours there. It always strikes me how some of the smallest things capture my interest. I also was very fond of the seahorses, and sea dragons they had. Then, we were upon a monstrous tank that housed 27 sharks of varying types as well as some fish and rays. This was impressive, but not nearly as impressive as the tunnel of glass that you pass through where sharks glide menacingly towards you, and then swim directly over your head.

On a side note, while the gift shop was fairly reasonable as those go, do NOT wait to grab a bite to eat at the snack bar in the aquarium. There were four of us, and the bill was closer to $50 than $40 for heat-lamp tended burgers and fries. Not cool.

Anyway, we headed over to the waterfall area, and into some smaller exhibits with all sorts of fish ranging from moray eels to triggerfish. Towards the end of this area is another huge tank, and this time it was filled with sea turtles, manta rays with wingspans of over 8 feet, and bluefin tuna. The turtles were amazing, and the grace of the flight patterns of the rays was hypnotic.

We went over to the shark petting area, and I did so. Felt like smooth rubber, and it was very cool.

They have a "4-D" theatre experience that can be purchased separately, and after doing so, I would advise you to save your money. It has a shoddily CGI'd film that you view with 3-D glasses and the seats have coordinated movements. If you want to see this done well, then head to Disneyworld.

There were many other fish and sea creatures to be seen, but I don't want to ramble on indefinitely. I've always liked the water, and going to the aquarium inspired me to want to have a fish tank again. There's something uniquely soothing about watching fish swim around, and it's been proven to reduce stress too.

I think that anyone who has considered heading over to the aquarium definitely should give it a try. We had a great time, and will definitely be heading back again...

Don't Fear The Reaper

I know that this has been around for awhile, but it sort of took a bit to become truly cult material.

This is one of the few funny skits from SNL in recent years.

It's come full circle, so that Will Ferrell actually came on and played with Queens of the Stone Age in May.

All I can say is "More Cowbell".

Check it out, baby

"The T-X Interpretive Dance Troupe is infectious" raves critic Miles Bennet Dyson!

Dave Matthews Band - Stand Up

ALBUM REVIEW

I can remember the first time I heard Dave Matthews Band music. I willingly admit that I was almost instantly impressed, because it sounded like "real" music for a change. An actual band that was capable of creating some really good music.

I happen to own all of their studio recordings, and a few of the live discs too. They really are tremendous live, and highly recommended.

There are probably even a few tracks off of this album that could be turned into something special with a different arrangement live.

The problem I'm having with this latest outing is the choice of producer. Mark Batson should have been able to make a better album with the band he had to work with. I put a large portion of why I don't like this album on his shoulders.

I can understand not wanting to remain stagnant, and to try out new sounds. I just feel that this is either going to trick DMB into thinking they've done that, or it will sour them to the idea altogether, and that's bad for us either way.

Let's break things down track by (largely) banal track:

"Dreamgirl" starts off with the band wanting so badly to be Paul Simon. Queue the African choir, and let's get things started. This is actually a pretty good song, and a nice start. Even so, you can see the writing on the wall here. The lyrics aren't up to snuff, and they don't get better as we go along.

"Old Dirt Hill(Bring That Beat Back)" is a major sticking point for me. If you're going to have Carter Beauford to work with, on a song that has the subtitle of bringing a beat back, don't you think that you should...I don't know...maybe have him PLAY A BEAT!? Instead, we get a weak song that's driven insipidly by drum machine pablum.

I've seen it happen time and again, but it never fails to disappoint me anyway. Here, the titular track "Stand Up" sounds like it's trying too hard to be something good. We've got the rhythm section working on this one, and the guitars and vocals are clueless throughout.

There's an intro for the song "American Baby" that's just some piano with gunshots and whatnot, and then we get to the song proper. This is one of the songs that I liked. The guitar is plucked almost with banjo-like tautness, and it's a well made song. It's not going to butter your toast for you, but it's not bad.

Ahh, the bad boy Dave song. "Smooth Rider" is a laid back song for the cool cat that Dave wishes he was. It's almost full of itself, but the southern swagger isn't overbearing. Musically, it's meant to be "stripped down" but seems a bit sparse instead.

"Everybody Wake Up(Our Finest Hour Arrives)" has a throw-away title. It might as well be a cereal box that has a huge star-shaped accent in bright red that says something like "Now with 25% more preachy goodness!!". Note to jam bands: If you're going to get political on a song, don't make it so hamfisted that it stinks enough to overwhelm the smell of "patchouli", ya got it?

Okay, so at least we're past that. Now, we can move on to hopefully a better song. What's this one called? Oh, it's "Out of My Hands". Frighteningly fitting though it may be, we have no control here, and this song is essentially a quieter version of the last one. Not only does it drip with the undertones of the Birkenstockian sentiment that "it's sucks you guys have to go fight in Iraq", but it has the nerve to recycle lyrics. Not from someone else's song. Not from an early DMB tune. Not from a song from the beginning of the album, but the crappy song RIGHT BEFORE THIS ONE!! C'mon already.

After that one-two punch of a fiasco, we deserve "Hello Again". It's lazy gait down a dirt road rhythm is sweet. The syncopation shakes off the blues of those last two songs, and we're treated to one of the songs that I enjoy from this album. This album is a great case of mp3 piracy, because you would do well to glean the wheat from the chaff here, and not plunk down your lucre for the whole disc. [I'm not even getting into the fact that the disc has been copy-protected, and tries to auto-install software on your PC to ensure this that has been known to crash some machines]

"Louisiana Bayou" sounds like something DMB should make a song about. Heck, make my day, listen to some ancient blues and zydeco and crank out a whole album of songs from your roots. This gets mired in some bad lyrics, and a fair-to-middlin' attempt at keeping it real. I do actually like the hooted accent on the end of each line in the chorus. It reminds me of an old Harry Bellafonte song called "Hold 'Em Joe".

"Stolen Away on 55th & 3rd" is a great song title, and it's not a bad song either. Aside from the metronome of another canned beat, the gentle sweetness of the vocals compliments the sax throughout.

We've already had the band trying to do it's best Paul Simon impersonation. Now, we get them catching a bad case of Sting syndrome. "You Might Die Trying" sounds to me like the band doing a parody of themselves in a world where we're all supposed to see all the subtleties of their genius and be humbled by it. How a laid back group of guys like this can be made to come off that way is beyond me, but give it a listen, and see if you can hear what I'm saying.

If you've read any of my other album reviews, then you know that I'm a sucker for softly sung lullaby type songs. "Steady As We Go" is just Dave's voice, and a piano taking center stage. It's got simple and sweet lyrics filled with hope, and I like this one.

It only takes us 14 songs of traveling to come across anything that really resembles what the Dave Matthews Band sound is. "Hunger For The Great Light" could easily have come off of any of their other albums. Here's the band firing on all cylinders together to make a good song. Sure, it's formulaic. The fact that blending great vocals with acoustic electric guitar and an underrated bassist, a genius drummer, and both a violin and sax player is a formula isn't a bad thing here.

Overall, I can't recommend this album. If you know someone who bought it, or has a copy, then have them make you one. If you download music, then do that, give them all a listen, and then see if you keep all the tracks in your collection. There are some worthwhile listens to be had. They're just few and far between, and what's left is just clumsy and lazy.

Rating = * out of 5 stars

Ring of Fire

there was a me of long ago
that viewed the world in wonder
and lived the daily moments like millennia
when i was too carefree to even know
what that word meant
years haven't made me old, but hollow
the glow of youth has left shadows to fall under
and the dark chitin of my regret to polish
innocence, lost at birth, now seems to show
that heavier things are due for rent
i climb a mountain to change my view
but seem to find the goal of it's peak
was merely a postcard in the giftshop
at the foot of a larger range
and i'm already running out of air
how much farther can i remain true
or continue to try to speak
to miles and ears that give no notice
as the pendulum swings on the strange
behind the brittle teeth in the smile i wear
my thoughts strobe like thunderstorms
in the close black of cloudless july
with the knowledge of the good i own
shining briefly across the carapace of my despair
only to make me ashamed of above and below
love has only visited me in a few forms
and i'm afraid to be forced to rely
on my ability to retain it
i clutch at it...like catching air
i may lose all semblance of hope in one blow
i have built so much that has fallen away
i have taught so many that no longer care
loved and hated with equal fervor besides
the whole of my existence is as strong
as the base of a house of cards
time laughs as the deck begins to sway
and winks in the way only the stacker dares
having sharpened his skills on bigger game
knowing i was a lost cause all along
missing all my marks by yards
i'm the man who wasn't
drawn like bows towards apples that never were
wrapped closely in the emperor's new cloak
against the cold dream of a unicorn
drawn across these days of (h)ours
like the teeth of a rusty saw
i'm the victor that doesn't
throttled by the life that may never concur
on the shores of mercury, lopes the silver man
who burns white, and sheds dross like a newborn
till there's not an ingot left to guild the flowers
laid fresh on the grave of intent
where the long blind scan the skyline
seeking the ghost they thought they knew
when all that remains is the wish and pain
and maybe darkness enough to fill the rifts
left etched by this heavy-tread repent
traced along this bitter coast, but for the shine
of a single dear star stuck in my heart
i'll fade with a smile if she knows my name
and maybe my dark tears will turn to diamond gifts

Dracula just freakin' rocks!